Test. Fail. Move on.
Good Afternoon friends! I hope this finds you well.
Last Friday was Hubbys and my 16th Wedding Anniversary. Being a friday all 4 kids were at School and Preschool and it was a work day for us both but we decided to sneak away for an hour to have a lunch date. It was really lovely.
Quite a few weeks back my Naturopath who I have been working closely with since January this year working on healing over 10 years of ‘gut’ issues, told me I was ready to ‘try’ something that I normally would react to … to see how I go. I have to be honest and say I put it off because I had been too busy to get sick! What Mum has time for that!?
Spur of the moment though on our Anniversary lunch date I decided to go ahead and just order off the menu … the safest thing I could find … and quietly I was feeling happy, relaxed and confidant all was going to be good. After all, the only thing in my salad I couldn’t have was a little Feta and Balsamic Vinegar.
I am disappointed to report I was wrong to be so confidant. I can react to some things with moods, headaches and itchy skin within hours. Big reactions though I know takes 2-3 days. I learnt this, foolishly, MANY years ago when I devoured an ENTIRE LARGE block of chocolate after a failed IVF attempt and thought I had somehow escaped a reaction … until 3 nights later it hit me. This actually, strangely, helped me to figure out this is how long it took for my body to react and it helped me pin point further things, as early days when I reacted I only ever looked at what I ate in that last 24 hour period.
Friday Lunch. Saturday good. Sunday good. Monday … not so good. I woke with burning back pain. Throughout the day my back felt on fire the whole time, I was headachy, couldn’t focus, was moody and was terribly bloated. I stayed positive as I wasn’t running to the loo (which is normally my reaction) .. so I pumped in the water and thought ‘this is the worst of it, I have done well’ …. once again … so … so …SO WRONG. About 8.30pm it hit … like someone just came up behind me and hit me over the head …. my stomach went HUGE … I am talking 4-5 months pregnant size and the pain … I have said this before and I will say it again … it compares to labour (I have had 3 labours so I can say this!).
Fast forward two and a 1/2 hours later and hubby is tucking his mess of a wife into bed.
Those two and a 1/2 hours: not able to leave the toilet, head spinning, felt drunk, throwing up from pain, cold washers over my body. I try and stay focused and tell myself I can do this but honestly I just panic and freak out as I know that there is no way to escape this … besides just staying on the loo and waiting till I am drained. The pain. Two hours of the horrible pain. I can’t even describe it. Let’s just say .. it is not normal. Once it’s over I manage to crawl to the shower which hubby has to run for me as now I am freezing and hoping the warm water which is running over me (as I sit curled in a ball on the floor) eases some of my cramps. I start crying from exhaustion, humiliation (did I mention I have the best hubby in the world), frustration and disappointment.
Was the salad worth it: NO.
Will I try something again: 99% sure NO.
Will I continue with my Naturopath and gut healing: YES.
Why? Because I really feel my daily ‘health’ is better for it. I have a list of things I know I can not have ANY of and then I have a list if things I can have in moderation. Those moderation things turned out to be things full of ‘good fats’ e.g. avocado, salmon, nuts and eggs and since seeing him I can now have them. Most importantly though I feel SO much better almost every day. I don’t have daily cramps which were becoming part of my life and despite this recent reaction, I do feel that my body is starting to heal.
So, why can’t I eat SO many things? I don’t know. I don’t actually know if I care anymore. I know that this sounds bad but it is not meant to. For years I have known what I can / can’t have and I have tried to find magic solutions to figuring out why and fixing it. I am no Dr or Health Professional of any kind but I know my body and for some reason I beleive just can’t eat that long list of food (I have tried MANY different things in the past to overcome these issues and none of them have worked – yes, as much as I have wanted them to!) You now what, this food test I just did reminds me that I am ok with that. I am grateful for the fact that it has also bought me to you guys and my cookbooks and led me in a whole different direction of feeding my family to what I was going on. I am willing to accept the hand I have been dealt. I don’t see this as me ‘giving’ up. Just taking a step in a different direction. It is time for me to concentrate, once again, on living with my intolerances … after all, there are so many wonderful things I can still eat (my books are proof of that!) and more importantly when I eat the things my body is happy with I am HEALTHY. What more could I want?
Wishing you a lovely afternoon! Talk again soon!
Take Care of You,
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